Wednesday, November 02, 2005

A less traditional relationship


I guess the picture to the right explains a little of what I'm going to write about. It's an older picture, taken just after my basic training which is why i'm so damn skinny. Me with AT. I hate having my picture taken, and worse, having to pose for one.

I've been contemplating how to start this blog. What I've been wanting to say, I've only told one other person, and that person is RR who I mentioned in a previous posting.

One reason I become really good at what I choose to do is that once I commit, it's complete. By complete, I mean it, it becomes what I eat, breath, think until I finish it. This very often leaves little time for relationships, which is very often fine with me, those who also follow the same paths who have SO's tend to get the "you never spend time with me anymore" comment.

Even before I entered high school, I knew that I wouldn't be hanging around town and wouldn't follow my peers in marrying early and settling down near or at home. With that in mind, I kept myself busy with school work, hunting or with a job.

After enduring grilling after grilling about why I wasn't dating, nor wanting to be set up by anyone, I became convinced that the easiest way out of the ordeal was if I had an SO. About that time, I made my first trip to Oklahoma as part of a native leadership program. While there I met a girl who I'll call AT, we became fast friends and have kept in contact over the years.

I figured out that early on, it's not so much what you do as much as what you appear to do, so I concieved to show that I was "dating" someone. I figured it was easier to explain that yes, I was dating, but she was out of state, and quite attractive to explain my willingness to remain faithful.
So, on one of my phone calls to AT, placed from the teacher's lounge in the high school (with a calling card) when I was suppose to be in class, I asked if her if she'd go along with my plan. She laughed at first, then thought about it and agreed to play my "girl friend".

I guess it was a relationship of sorts, but the sole purpose was to decive everyone around me, so we did a lot of "traditional" things, even stuff that was so overtly over the top and showy that it shouldn't have been believed. But it was, all of it, got to the point people began to ask us how long we were married. We actually did our own things apart, but when I'd visit on leave, we were the perfect couple at least for appearance sake.

I sometime regret not having 'traditional' relationships, but given my nature of not staying in one spot too long, I wouldn't count it fair for a woman to try and keep up with me. I tend to be like a tumbleweed, going where the wind takes me. With no ties anywhere really, makes me well suited for life on the water.

I've never told anyone about the truth until a little while ago with RR, with her, I feel almost complled to speak the truth no matter what.

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